Alexander Supertramp

I have always been inspired by the amazing story of Chris McCdandless, who, in many ways resembles my beliefs against the norms of society but expressed himself more veritably than I ever would be able to.

The man motivated me to believe in myself and convinced me that whatever I wanted to do, I could do. Prior to hearing the story of Chris I read about ‘the secret’.  If you have ever read the book ‘the secret’ you will understand that some things happen because “if you believe in something enough, you will receive/achieve/retrieve it”.  It’s all about the law of attraction and holistically, attracting something means thinking about it until you get what you want. I was a big believer in this concept until recently when I thought about something constantly but that just blew up in my face like one of them gag jokes that keep you interested until it either zaps you or makes you smell something you wish you didn’t… you know what I mean!

This one… ‘Item’, let’s call it, made my life miserable but then I decided to do something about it. I thought…. well if I get a job that gives me money to support my drinking habit I would feel a little bit better about life, but it didn’t really help me at all. In fact, I’m drunk as we speak but that doesn’t take away from my poetic style of writing things poetically at all you arsehole douche bags that feel like criticising me for being free and poetic with my great words of poetry.

While having lunch with a table of academics, I decided to lose my inhibitions and drink beer, red wine, scotch and more scotch. I was well drunk before I decided to leave the bar that I was at and headed towards another bar for more drinks in accordance with ‘the secret’ (at this point in time I found scotch quite attractive).  During my walk to the pub I realised that I was abusing any underlying message that ‘the secret’ had to offer, but again, this didn’t work for me on a personal level so it can go fuck itself in the arse with a steel pole full of ridges all over it. I tried to find a corrugated pole image to illustrate my feelings but this is surprisingly hard on google.

Well, the whole point of this blog (which has surely been missed by everyone reading this) is that using the inspiration of Alexander Supertramp (which is Chris McCandless’ gypsy name) I have practically looked into creating a superhero which uses Godfrey commercial quality vacuum cleaners. The Pullman PV11 provides an ergonomic backpack vacuum solution which will provide ample power to allow me to jet pack my way into fighting crime or arseholes; both of which society deems hazardous to the wellbeing of our future.

Before stopping by to visit some friends and colonel sanders (a crowd I missed dearly), I decided to stop by the Godfrey’s vacuum cleaning superstore at Fortitude Valley. The man insisted on selling me the $519 Pullman PV13 as it provided a better commercial vacuuming experience. I ensured him that I did not require the commercial cleaning attributes of the PV13 as all I needed was two sets of PV11s which will provide me with the backpack power I need to soar across the Queensland surroundings.

I can’t describe the big plans I have for my flight abilities with the machinery I plan on buying from Godfrey’s. All I can say is that people around me actually sabotage my creative abilities and future actions with criticism. I don’t care if you don’t like my backpack vacuums or think I’m not good enough to change the world with backpack flight. You will regret your decisions at the end of the day because you conformed to what you believed you thought others would expect of you instead of following what you wanted at your discretion.

“Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” Thoreau

“The sea’s only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don’t know much about the sea, but I do know that that’s the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.” Chris McCdandless

“If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed”.  Tolstoy