Jesus is destined for great things
So I spent a couple more days hanging out with Jesus recently and I’ve come to be surprised by how much he accomplished as a child. I found out that when he was around 8 or 9 years old he made it onto the kids show “Saturday Disney” for his ability to mimic Michael Jackson’s dance moves to Billie Jean. A few years later and he did some dance gigs for his local shopping centre and got recruited for a super soaker advertisement. It was quite popular and American directed…. You may remember it: Kids running around with guns screaming “Wetter is Better!” in American accents despite being Australians. At the time he got paid around $2000 for 2 days of work, making him the richest primary school kid I knew.
In between his rise to fame on TV, he was also crowned 4th in the under 12 QLD chess championships. While other kids his age spilt orange juice on their school uniforms before school (me), he spent his time reading chess strategy books and learning the piano. He can still wow an audience when he plays the piano but he has an annoying habit of stopping when he sees someone is impressed. I usually get him to play the piano and act like I’m yawning so he keeps going. He always seemed like he was going places but I felt like he never had the chance to be a real kid. Instead of laughing about spilling orange juice on himself, he’d probably be disappointed and practice sipping orange juice all day.
Now Jesus is back at University studying French. This is his 3rd attempt to do French A – introduction to French. Despite acing most of the first few tests, he dropped out of this subject twice, only to return to it and try again. He says it’s hard for him to cope with doing real life things. He gets scared because he’s making things reality. He once told me he can live his whole life in his head. If he wants a BMW he can drive one… in his head and it will be just as if it were real to him.
Today I asked him a few questions about his special abilities. He isn’t sure he can control the weather anymore. He used to be able to… but he is definite that he can still read people’s minds. He then let me know that his mum is holidaying in Vietnam and she’s complaining about the weather. I asked if he tried changing the weather for her and realised only then that he lost his powers. He said “no”. I ask him quite regularly “what am I thinking?”… He always smirks and keeps silent; never providing an answer. This is frustrating as I get no closure. If he guessed and was wrong I’d know he was full of it… but I can’t make that claim yet can I?
While we were lined up to buy some McDonalds he asked me if I wanted kids. I proposed the same question to him before I answered it. He said “Yeah, but I don’t want to get married. I think I will just have a partner… or several partners forever”. I told him that I’d caution his first girlfriend and tell her he was not going to be faithful to her. He then said “Sophia would be a great name for my child”. I warned him that a boy carrying the name of ‘Sophia’ may have a high propensity to get bashed during his schooling period. I got no response from him.
While we were sitting down with our McDonalds, he opened up to me about the secret organisation that was spying on him (apparently now he can’t feel them spying on him anymore). He repeated that they all drove shiny blue and yellow cars. Then he paused for a bit… and said in a startled voice “some of them were Chinese…and black… not just white people” to which I said… “Well I’m guessing the CIA and stuff don’t really put ‘Must be white’ on their self-destructing applications. That would be secretive discrimination”.
He then asked me how much a Lamborghini Diablo costs. I said… “Definitely more than your recreational study of French is going to earn you.” Out of the blue he said “I can make miracles happen” so I told him to go buy a lotto ticket. He informed me that he was planning on doing that, but I reminded him of the odds to winning lottery, mentioning his favourite movie ‘Good Will Hunting’ where they stated the actual odds. He reassured me that he will win the lottery and buy a Lamborghini Diablo.
I am not ruling anything out with Jesus. I have this strange feeling that he is going to come up trumps in life one way or another. It may be a case similar to Forrest Gump but I can just tell life has something more planned for him. I believe he will get his Lamborghini Diablo…. and his baby boy, Sophia.
