Easter at the pub
I just got back from spending a lovely Easter at the pub with Dave and Will. We started our Easter drinking festivities at 3pm and finished at roughly 12:30 in the morning (kind of now). This, I believe, was a fair effort on behalf of all participating in this lovely Easter festival. I am still going on strong with the last amount of scotch I have left from the free jackpot stash I found at the place I am house-sitting but I fear I will pass out before I can finish this blog entry.
We had originally planned on having some drinks at the pub and later going for the Brisbane Lions Vs Sydney Swans game. Being only a hop, skip and jump away from the stadium, we decided this was a bad idea as it started raining and there was more scotch and coke to be drunk at the premises we were residing at. We felt like we were doing Australia a favour by increasing the average amount of litres of beer and scotch drunk per year on average (which we and a strange Czechoslovakian man found quite appallingly low as stated on the back of a keno card). Apparently only 97.6L of beer is drunk per year on average per person, and even less on spirits… Come on Australia…. Lift your game! This Czechoslovakian man had a thing for Dave. Unfortunately Dave couldn’t really understand much of what he was saying to spark up a true and meaningful relationship, so the man slowly departed after a long and contented chat.
During our hours of drinking, we had enough time to talk about many meaningful and academic subjects. Unfortunately, we only really spoke a lot of crap about nothing (but you must admit this is the best kind of conversation). We did, however, come up with some potentially great ideas.
Our first idea, which has been an up and running idea for quite some time is to develop electronic transfers of physical objects such as pizza, scotch, beer, pretzels etc. This will not only be an efficient and revolutionary achievement for the advancement of human civilization but a very easy-to-use way for me and Will to exchange scotch and kebabs during famine emergencies. The money earned from such a superior technology would allow me to buy my $6 million dream house as well as fulfill my long-term plans of hiring Romanian thugs to abolish the use of inefficient, non-cute acronyms and shortcut English from the internet and the vocabularies of all ignorant adolescents/children (maintain KOCS). This technology will also change the face of importing and exporting but that’s not nearly as important.
Our second idea was to optimize the Australian taxi service as we see it today. Ever wanted to be carried to your cab from wherever you sit, dropped off at your place, put in bed and have a taxi driver which speaks proficient English (no questions asked)? Well I do! On the way to Dave’s place the taxi driver provided us with a business card. With it he said, “If you want English speaking cab drivers you can call this number. We can guarantee these will be English speaking cab drivers but you will be charged a surcharge of $11.” I thought…wow (he also tried to put on an Indian accent which was quite amusing) that’s a bit shit…but hey, if that’s not a sprouting idea for our taxi cab business, then what is! We can simply provide a surcharge for our services but have your information in a database through your mobile phone’s IMEI number. This way we know who made the call. We can then pick you up from wherever the call was made, carry you to the cab, take you home, put you in bed, and then send an invoice later on in the week when you are sober and able to pay for it.
Those were our key ideas. We had another idea but I forgot what it was. I’m sure it was equally as good as the others. I’m actually amazed that I’m still up and writing. I took a short break from writing this blog and started playing Prince of Persia on Playstation 3. I am great at this game now that I know how to kill people in it. It takes me a while to learn how to play games. I would classify myself as a quick learner of a lot of things, but not video games. I am about as good as a blind child trying to play badminton with soundproof ear muffs on. I would like to take my statement back as being a quick learner. I don’t think I am.
Anyway I have nearly completed most of the things on Prince of Persia. In a sense I feel quite happy about it as I have never really played a game for longer than about 4 hours before totally giving up and sulking in a corner. This game, although hard at first as I didn’t know how to do any damage to the things I was supposed to kill, has turned out to be quite awesome.
I’m now going to warm up some spicy lamb sausages. I think vomiting my food up at Dave’s place thanks to his super spicy sauce (which actually had a warning for drunken people not to eat it) has made me hungry again. That sauce is ridiculous. While I was vomiting the sauce, the fumes from my vomit actually made my eyes burn. I can only hope the sauce is not so punishing tomorrow morning on the toilet. You should try these spicy lamb sausages. They are delicious.
